For 24 hours, I wondered how women who suffered miscarriage were ever brave enough to try again. I wondered how they were able to wake up one day without a pregnancy and without a baby, and were expected to continue on.
For 24 hours, I thought about how I would explain to Lyla that our baby wasn't in my tummy anymore. I thought about how I would handle her questions, her sweetness, and her disappointment. I thought about the baby I'm carrying every time I watched Lyla play or listened to her sing. Would this baby be like her? Would they be completely different?
We scheduled an ultrasound for Wednesday evening at 5:00pm. The technician agreed to let us come in at the end of her work day, so that we wouldn't be wondering about the healthy of our baby for another night, and I was/am so grateful.
All day I went back and forth between thinking about the "what if"s, to hoping for the best, to trying not to think at all.
When we got to the appointment, I laid down on the table, took a deep breath, and the ultrasound technician immediately found a beautiful bouncing, healthy, 10 week old baby peanut. Perfect little arms, legs, and body. Perfect little cord. Growing little placenta. Everything looked wonderful. I cried, and laughed, and watched. I watched the baby in my belly play and wave. I watched Dustin and Lyla look on as we explained just what we were looking at. It was wonderful, sweet relief. I'm so very thankful, now more than ever, for this little blessing.
Meet healthy little Walker Baby #2:
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