I'm 8 Weeks Pregnant..And I Don't Care Who Knows It!

Original Plan: Wait until about 8-10 weeks before we told family or close friends about this pregnancy.

Day 1: We told family and close friends.

Original Plan: We will wait to tell everyone else until the first trimester.  

Week 6.5: We announce our pregnancy on social media.

While I completely understand waiting until the second trimester to announce a pregnancy, and chose to do so with Lyla, several things have changed over the last three years that had me rethinking the decision.  

First of all, I am just so excited!  I know the blessing that is having a child, and I don't think there would have been a way for me to keep that inside for another month.  I just couldn't!  I have a hard time waiting to give birthday presents, and this was exponentially harder to keep secret!

Secondly, for me, the first trimester of pregnancy is the hardest.  I'm sick.  I'm tired, and let's face it...I basically give up cooking and cleaning.  Keeping my pregnancy a secret for the first 12 weeks means that, during the most emotionally and physically trying time of my pregnancy, I basically have to keep to myself, and pretend that all is well.  It was easier to do last time because I wasn't caring for a toddler. I wasn't even working in the beginning.  I had summer vacation to lounge around and hunch over the toilet to my heart's content. I'm so thankful that I've been able to ask for help this time.  

Lastly, the obvious reason.  We should all wait until our pregnancy reaches the second trimester, because then it's more likely to remain viable.  If you tell everyone, you better be up for "untelling everyone."  

Well, let me just share my thoughts on that.  Over the past few years, I have seen friends silently suffer through miscarriage, only to find out about it after the lost pregnancy after sufficient time has passed.  I have had students contact me about classes early on in pregnancy, only to lose their baby before class even begins.  Each time, they ask the same questions, "What could I have done differently?  Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening again?".  The answer? Nothing.  Miscarriage occurs in 1 in 5 pregnancies.  (1 in 4 if you look at first time pregnancies alone.)  It's devastatingly common, but many moms don't know that.  Because we keep it a secret.  Because it's something that families endure alone.  

The loss of a life, at any age, is tragic.  And it matters.  And it counts.  No one would ask a family who loses a child they have held in their arms to grieve silently or without support, and the moment a woman finds out she is pregnant, that baby's life is held in her heart.  She is a mother to it. She plans a future for it.  She dreams about its personality.  She hopes for its success. When a pregnancy is lost, not only does a woman have to grieve the loss of her baby, but she has to grieve the loss of the future and dreams she had for her family.  I pray that I never experience miscarriage.  I pray that this baby continues to grow healthy and strong, (and because you know about it, you can join me in those prayers from the beginning).  And if I ever did have to go through that, I wouldn't want to do it silently.  I would want the life of my child recognized.  I would want to be supported, and I would want other mothers to know that miscarriage can happen to anyone. 

This is obviously a personal preference.  Some might prefer to grieve and heal silently, and that's perfectly fine.  I'm not suggesting everyone must spill the beans as soon as they see that second line appear.  But I would also caution against discouraging anyone from sharing early on if they so wish.  Miscarriage isn't shameful.  All life should be celebrated. & every pregnant mama should have the support of her family and friends whenever she needs it.

Here is my first bump picture!  About 2 months!